Ben’s Bites #2
Today’s Bite:
My Unsuccessful Childhood Story About Feeling “Small.”
I grew up small. Like really small. Up through all of elementary school, I was tiny. However, I was proudly not the shortest kid in school. But I was 2nd, to a gal named Olivia Lee.
To make matters worse. I was never taught how to make myself “bigger.” (Gestures, body language, vocal tonality, eye contact.) If anything, I didn’t know how to even make eye contact, and I was virtually always slouched.
Talk with my hands? Take up space? Express myself? “Come on, man! I don’t even take my hands out of my pockets. I’m so shy I’ll almost pee my pants before asking permission to go the bathroom!:
I wasn’t just “small,” I actually made myself smaller.
I kid you not; it wasn’t until I was 15 that someone called me out on my total rebellion against eye contact. A girl I liked said, “You’re cute, but you can’t even look me in the eyes.”
And it wasn’t until I was in my early 20s that I noticed everyone would erect their back much more than me; in lamens terms, I was slumped, my posture was shit. I would make myself smaller.
I could play the blame game. I’m not going to.
We could hypothesize what courses of action “would have” been best. I’m not going to.
The past is the past.
All I know.
Recognizing you have a problem is the first step to a solution.
I’ve since completely catapulted myself into an obsession with social psychology, personal development, and I have done everything I can to be a better man. I am a better man.
Day by day, I grow.
Every day, I’m conscious of my past. Through action, I am hyper-focused on making forward progress towards a far better tomorrow.
These days I stand tall. I widen my shoulders. I straighten my back. I speak with more confidence and conviction than ever. And even though it’s not easy, I’ve accomplished more than I ever imagined possible. I have rewired my brain.
I won’t make an argument that I have arrived… I’m not the definition of “big.” And I’m definitely not the man I will be.
But never again will I have to feel small!
Where in your life do you feel small? And what are you going to do about it?
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